DAMN

I WANT MY WATCH BACK!!!!!!! its the last gift!!! =(

stupid me..........

望着镜子里面的我，
已认不清，那个人是谁。
以前，最讨厌别人抽烟的人，
如今，却成为一个只会借‘烟’消愁的混蛋。
以前从不放弃的我。
直到现在一直选择逃避的我。
从以前不曾翘课的我，
到如今不想去学校就不去的我。
我到底是谁？

我好累，真的好累！
当你离开球队时，
因为对你的诺言，
我拼了命的去撑起全队。
大家都把责任，重担，
让我一个人扛。。

当你再度回国，
把那礼物放在我的家门口。
写封信说要我戴着它，
永远记得无论如何，
都不能放弃直到最后一刻。
对你的承诺，
我没有放弃过。
你却一直不愿回来，
在场边给我最实际的支持，
我才发现，你早已放弃，
是我一直，一直在努力，
去完成对你的承诺。

爱的人，也一个一个离我而去。。
可以为了朋友放弃我。
我一直守着你回头，
却发现，你早已远离。
爱上了在我最需要一个依靠时
出现的她，
却因为过去的一切，
选择放弃我。
一次又一次，
在所有人放弃的时候，
仍然守护着对自己和你们的约定。
是我真的太傻？

如今，唯一推动我向前走的，
是戴着你送我的最后礼物，
因为你在信里说到
我们一直相信的未来。
‘只要不放弃，就会有奇迹’
却在我拼了命的守护，不放弃时。
那份礼物，不见了。
是时候放弃了吗？
我真的不知道，如何走下去。

我已经麻木了，
撑到最后只是一个人独军奋战。。
到底是为了什么？
到最后才发现。
大家早已放弃。。。
我却还傻傻，
在原地，继续往前走。。。

我真的好累。。。。

28 july

曾经教练说过，篮球，虽然是5个人的团体运动。可是一球员的想法，却足以成为球队输赢的关键。一个人的决定，注定很多事情。往往，爱情，也是如此。一个人的决定，是注定会伤害到一些人。有些人会因为一个决定开心，却有一些人，会受伤。。我却往往成为爱情世界里，被人的决定伤害的受害者。。。不再相信爱情，却又再度回到这个世界。。

today..went school at 12.13..nv late..slowly walk to school cuz dun want reach too early..went up to do a question..thanks for those who help..anyway..after lesson i went to smoke at blk 17 level 4 again..well..its just the best place to smoke for me.. =) went out to buy bubble tea..my usual mocha ice blend wif mini pearls..went to blk 899A n was deleting my past msges..read the msg that she sends..n..it just hurt..to be honest here..i cried 3 times today..gosh..wth..lolx..msg her n the reply i got..even more jialat..hahas..guess i will let her be..i promise myself not to disturb her le..既然你这么想逃开我的爱，我也只有，一直在你身边守候，在你需要我时。一直都在。或许，这真的会让心更痛，但我无所谓。等着你会回头看看，在你身后一直等待的我。让‘企鹅’也有温暖的拥抱。。。。。祝你幸福。
anyway..play quite a lot of bball today..feeling of playing basketball make me feel so alive again..but result is..leg pain like siao once i reach home..but i dun seems to give a damn about my health now..perhaps..i am even hoping n praying to get into a car accident or my leg really broke.. =D at least i will know..who really cares..can't be bothered wif my ankle now..i am going to play more bball n smoke more for now..i dun see a need to stop bball when i likes it n it just make me forgot everything(ankle break=break lor)..dun see a need of quitting as i can still control smoking..bad for my health..who cares......

你们，总是出现，然后给我一个莫名其妙的理由，离开我。
我的心，还能再承受多少次的伤害？
我不知道，也不想知道。。
你可以选择逃避。
我却选择在这里守候。

你说你害怕，因为受过伤。
不需要害怕，因为我不是他。。。。

28th july

28th july..
went to school early in the morning..half dead lor..cuz slept at 4am n wake up at 7am..wth..well..i can't sleep thats why..first thing in the morning..DICAPP labtest..wa..do halfway nia..think fail for sure..anyway..will work harder for my main exams..got 3 hrs break so went meet anthony go makan at 820..smoke n back to school for free access lab..then went library use com burn time..lolx..go back for lessons at 2pm..Dfund2 quiz..walao..today like quiz here n there..hope can pass though.. =) finish the paper n left at 2.40..went to blk 17 level 4 smoke..lolx..burn time till 3pm..i thought Dfund2 labtest is this week..but lucky..is the following week..anyway..smoke my second stick while burning my time..2 girls came in n smoke too..err..they smoke finish liao came over ask my no. then go off..err..girls nowadays more n more daring lehx..lolx..

anyway..went to lab at 3pm..n free time? do the lab if u want..lolx..i slack until got ppl leave the class..i also runaway liao..went 813 till 9.30pm then go..found out 813 got one guy is bedok north sec 1 school team member..hahas..was talking about our crazy coach(wei long) well..my coach is damn sick!!! his 3 pointers are free one..lolx..imitate his shooting style..lolx..played quite a bit wif my bloody ankle..hmm..play one on one wif my junior..i won..err..too bad..cannot give 100% due to my injuries..sorry junior..hmm..btw..came to know they are out in the second round..haix..as usual..stupid curse for BNSS..wonder which batch will break the freaking curse? special training for ernest..hope he will improve more.. =)

push up n sit up for 2 hrs liao..so tired now..physically but not mentally..wad time will i be sleeping?? lolx..just hope everyone i know will be happy now..no matter wad happens in the past..lets move on..i am learning to let go of the past..jiayou!

no. of sticks on sunday..2
no. of sticks today..10?? think so..lolx

sat n sun

saturday morning..went to meet ying at serangoon central to have breakfast together..well..she is being kinda moody due to her bf..so we went to mac eat n talk..err..in fact she only drink lah.. =) hope she is feeling better after saying things out..hmm..after that she go back put her laptop n bring her size six ball..lolx..taught her left hand lay-up..then ernest called so i ask him to come over to serangoon instead of 813..wait for him end up ying n me went to mac for lunch..lolx..after eating..two of us even fall asleep there..until ernest call n say he reach liao..lolx..play until around 5..ying going for her match at SBC so me n ernest went to watch mens' open match so we took 135..wow..SBC..long-lost memory of school team last time..hahas..think ying match was a walk over as the opponent nv come..me n ernest watch match until quite late..think about 9 then we left..he suddenly say want see liting..lolx..cuz he know she stays near there..i thought she confirm not at home..saturday mahx.. =) so just feel like going to her place there..so me n him walk there..then send him off at paya lebar mrt..then i went to fairprice buy carlsberg..err...the taste so weird today..cuz without her by my side? maybe..msg her while drinking asking if she is outside..must take care..end up i shocked to know she whole day stay at home..lolx..i went back to her hs there to find her.. =D cuz she owe me something..knew she would wanna drink carlsberg de so i left a bit for her..she drink liao also say weird taste..even check expiry date lor..hahas..hug her n the feeling so shuang.. XP anyway..send her home after slacking a while..msg when i reaching home n..haix..damn sad..perhaps she will feel better that way? i just can't accept it..dun need to rush k? just wanna let u know..i will be right here..waiting..

sun..
went to give tuition at 11am n end at 12.30..talk to student parents for a while then i took cab to geylang east..wanna pass her something..she told me meeting xiuying at 2pm..but i nv ask her meeting her where..scared too obvious..so reach her place about 1pm..wait for her at her blk there until she comes down at around 1.40..hahas..pass her the gift n accompany her walk to near sing post n i went off to meet my parents for lunch..went to eat prawn noodles..wa..nice lor!!! n went to godma hs after that..went to slept at my cousin's room till dinner at around 8..i think i slept for more than 3 hrs..lolx..glad to know the thing fits her..hope she likes it..
我会等，等到有一天，
你会打开你的心，让我走进你的世界。
等到有一天，能为你戴上所送你的礼物。
我不会再要求你为我勇敢。
不要求你现在和我在一起。
因为不想你和我在一起时，
会让你感到压力。给你时间，
去考虑我和你的未来
现在我只能默默守护着你。
我不会放弃。
因为坚持是我爱你的方式。
不管心再痛。
我会忍着继续往前走。
我会等，不急着要现在和你在一起
因为，我希望和你的感情，
是长久的。
慢慢考虑。
我会一直守护着你。
当你需要我时。
我一定会陪伴着你。
我爱你！

friday

fri..
went sch earlier cuz wanna finish dicapp project..but..knew cannot finish one..monday morning i will die..lolx..reach school at about 9 n went to meet haiqal in the lab..err..after that went to slack at blk 17 level 4(my favourite place to smoke)..lolx..anthony called after a while..n meet him at blk 11 level 3..slack slack until 11am then go up for our edevckt quiz..errr..edward finish doing the questions he know in his paper, then me n him swap paper he help me do.. =D but just one question..so..going to fail anyway.. XD thanks edward btw..lesson end..me edward n anthony went out to bus stop n smoke..after edward left..we went 820 eat n slack until 12.55..went 813..ernest reach first..i cannot play cuz of my ankle..correct phillip de shooting..err..need more time i guess..he also need to train himself..jiayou..after a while..huijie brought some of his friends to 813..then told me kaisheng coming over also..err..wow..i miss him..hahas..after that..they playing match wif nelson team i think..then got only 3 ppl so ask me play?? err..kaisheng ask me play liao..how can dun play..so tahan my fucking ankle n play lor..but..result..lose lor..sian..miss those days when i haven sprain my ankle..lolx..around 6plus..almost everyone left..then left me huijie n ernest there..i dun feel like going back so early..after a while..SAW AH JOE CAME 813..omg..hahas..he play a while then i accompany him go eat..order ba chou mee..lolx..then eat so full le..n i drank one bottle of carlsberg..OMG..damn damn full until i almost cannot walk..go back 813 then court all full..joe de friend went home already so ah joe cannot meet me play bball..so we left..went to his hs there..took L change the world dvd from him..haven watch yet..return ah joe on monday bah..home,bathe,eat AGAIN,msn for a short while n sleep super early..

一本未曾开始的感情故事

i still cannot sleep..lolx..because wad she say? maybe..think my mom is going to whack me upside down real soon..close my eyes n lie on the bed..all that came into my brain is her smile, is the way she laugh at all the jokes n stupid stuffs i did, image of her leaning on my shoulder when she is drunk, n hugging me the image.

我想念的是你的微笑
我怀念的是你的拥抱
你长发的味道
你微笑的表情
抱着我的感觉
依靠着我的回忆
不会消失。
我默默地在你身后
守护着你。
在你需要我时，
我一直都会在。
谢谢你留下的回忆
在孤单的夜里
至少有开心的回忆，
陪着我流泪。
只要你找到属于你的幸福
我会祝福你，
和你选择的人厮守到老
可是在那之前，
让我保有爱着你的权利。

jiayou

went out to meet junwei at my hs nearby de kfc to chat..lolx..on the way there..got this freaking chio n hot girl sitting at the bus stop..OMG!! lolx..so as usual..anyhow dian lor..n..i did manage to make her come over ask for my contact..hahas..lolx..like her? no way..lols..just think she is pretty thats all..testing my 'electricity' nia.. =P record hitting 30 by the way..now 27 le.. -.- siao!!! still having so many conversations in msn..siao..i one day nv log in msn nia tio spam lor..today sign in msn..soooooo many offline msges..i was like..kao..tio stun!! anyway..chat wif junwei a while n he still thinking of reforming the team that coach n weiming left behind due to some stuffs..but..i am not in the condition to play anymore..lolx..i told him about my ankle stuffs..so..sorry jw!!! =( take care of urself..i will leave weiming n my dream to u to complete le..remember..我们可以接受失败，却不能接受放弃。dun ever lost ur pride as a player..like how weiming n me did...jiayou!!! our soul will be with u..so 不到哨声响起那一刻，不能放弃比赛。。。

好朋友

或许，这是最好的选择。我也无法接受，如果到最后，是我伤害你。不用觉得对不起，因为，只要你开心就好。记得要好好照顾自己。不要让我担心。 =D 对你的爱，我会放在心里深处。。直到，你接受我的那一天。我会等，因为爱你，所以希望你幸福。如果哪一天，有人成功走进你的世界。不要害怕，为了他，勇敢一次，说不定，他就是你的真命天子。就算让你幸福的人，不是我，我也无所谓。

或许是我错了，在错的时候，爱上你。在错的时候，走进你的世界。在错的时候，选择告诉你我对你的感觉。这样也好。比起拥有过再失去，不曾拥有过比较好。谢谢你所留下的开心回忆。

update

lolx..party at nelson's chalet is damn cock lor..too bad i am kinda broke due to someone..lolx..anyway..ton there for the first nite..eat breakfast le i go off..home n sleep yill 1.30..prepare then went to get my report at raffles medical..doc told me my ankle is overwork..therefore no more vigorous activities for two mths n go back check up again..i was like..wad???? err..ask him totally cannot exercise ar? he say only can once a week..but relax exercises.."exercising for the sake of exercising nia" stupid..not as if i will care.. =) told my mom doc say i am fine..ask her dun worry..3 tuition straight today..2 at simei..after that took mrt to tamp n walk to 200plus there de 'mama tiam' buy nescafe, cigarrette, sweet n lighter..then walk out..actually intend to take bus de..but end up a bit late cuz i need to reach by 8.30..n it was about 8.10-8.15 that time..so..took a cab in the end..talk to wanling(student) regarding a lot of stuffs..(relationships/studies n stuffs) intending to meet up brothers for supper..but all not interested..going to try again next time giving wanling tuition..I MISSED THEM LOTS!!

wednesday
ernest called n ask me bring ball..it was raining heavily early in the morning..i took cab to saint hildas sec to pass him the ball..then walk to tp under the rain..n of cuz..lesson in air con room..i almost die there..lolx..after that..got two hours break so went outside school..smoke n slack until anthony call..meet at mushroom then go 820 to makan..after apel 2..went 813 and slack super duper long until saint hildas boys came..told kx, mervin n ernest regarding my ankle stuffs n wanna hear their opinion..erm..no idea if that idea of theirs is good anot..try it out? maybe..left 813 at around 5..took bus 21 n got 2 girls ask for my contact through the journey home..lolx..reach home..chiong to bathe n change..then went to take mrt to city hall cuz meetng MISS LIAUW LITING at marina square..lolx..i was cursing her to get caught in traffic jam..cuz..i dun want her to wait for me bah..end up..she reach earlier..damn it..reach le go up to find her..saw a girl wif back facing me..i recongise her through her bag, shoe n phone..hahas..she suddenly ask me..not scared will recognise wrong person mehx..lolx..i nv wear specs but i point guard ok?? hahas..went to food court n eat..pass some money to her cuz i say i treat..when she went to buy something to eat..i was typing a msg then wy called!!! i was like..wa..surprise! he ask me where am i n i told him i at marina square..n he told me he going marina later..so maybe meet up later..lolx..after that..he call again when liting came back..i knew something was wrong..then realize..OMG..they was just sitting near to us..lol..he was wif his girl..he came over n cock then i go buy food..leaving the time..errr..wrong timing..hehe..sorry wy.. =P

anyway..we have no idea where to go..so end up went to paya lebar n went to fairprice bought carlsberg..she cannot drink cuz working the next day...but end up..she snatch my drink lor..hahas..nvm lah..honestly..she drunk better..hahas..lolx..anyway..hug her today she complain again...wa..first time got ppl complain i too tall lor.. =.= walk her home then went back..smoke two more sticks on the way back..bathe, eat med, sleep..(forgot charge phone n ipod) LOLX

Liauw Liting..我爱你！

谢谢你的出现，让我在最需要一个依靠时，在我身边陪着我。你的拥抱，对我来说，是我所需要的一切。我会等，等待你对爱有信心。然后，给我们俩，一个机会，去证明真爱真的存在。我从黑暗里走出来了，希望，我能牵着你的手，把你带进属于我们的未来。别人怎么看我，我不在乎。说我花心也好，什么都好，我只知道，你已经走进我的世界。

等待，等待一个机会，能将我所能给你的一切，都给你，只要你开心，我就开心。。。 =）
我爱你

Happy/Sad..dunno..mixed feelings..

hmm..went school as usual for one stupid hour n go off.. =.= anyway..went to go print my apel 2 projet report stuffs wif guo wei before going to blk 899A sit down for PSP de bomberman..lolx..was thinking if i should go home first or wad..end up..i went 813..didn't want to sweat too much..cuz meeting LIAUW LITING today..hehe..then kai xiang suddenly say wanna train formation today..then recall that play match that time wif them..get ball liao 4 person watch show n nv go for fast brakes..so today..make them get my rebounds n go for fast brakes..is my expectation too high? they are still 14..but i really hope they can do it better.. =) make them pump everytime they miss..speed they are going for fast brakes=slow..so after making them hit the target..i make them do 'suicide' err...lazy to explain wad is it..anyway..shawn phua..good job..i appreciate ur effort!! =) keep working hard k? u can do it..

then..nelson came n we left together cuz he going sentosa while i going vivo..nice timing..reach habourfront n it was about 5.10..accompany nelson n ji ken wait for anthony to come..5.20+ he came..so i can just wait for 20-30 mins before she comes..hmm..went topman walk walk n find somewhere to sit..she came..wow..this time so early..went to eat at..(opps..forget wads the shop) hahas..anyway..the food make me so full until i going to vomit..but nice! hehe..damn funny..she insisting on treating me today..then when go until the counter..cashier say no nets! YES!! even lady luck smiling on me..so..i treat!! then walk around at vivo n then decided to have a drink..we went to a small small supermarket..something like cold storage something de..lolx..then i was telling her i wanna take revenge..(both of us from meat counter last time in cold storage parkway) so suggest go check if the pricing did wrongly anot..can complain..or go to the counter..if the person is trainee make him/her wei nan..hahas..like asking him/her some super weird questions..n ask him prepare a certain amount of meat..help season le..take liao put grocery n let the meat spoil.. =P lolx..but very bad lah..will hai si that person so end up..just say nia..hahas..went to giant n buy two cans of carlsberg as usual then go to somewhere n drink..she was msging all the while then i keep accidently saw her stuff in her phone..cuz her screen super big..lolx..i didn't mean it..sorry..joker lor..she drink n u all should know wad happen le..hahas..she broke record..first time she hug me nv complain..erm..well she did lah..but after quite long..hahas..PIG!! Oh ya..joke for the day.."the dog" we saw..LOLX

anyway she promise to tell me something when she meet me up today..but..she put aeroplane..the way sending her home..she starts laughing almost throughout the journey? lolx..then say wanna tell me but see my face very funny..wa..win liao lor..say until as if i am a clown..erm..still thinking if i should go for the cold storage gathering next friday..

anyway..receive a msg n..err..heartbroken? maybe...perhaps its something u will nv accept..but..i do hope my pressence did bring joy to u..its fine if u can't consider me now..perhaps its fine..so long u are happy..wan an...jiayou k? tahan through wor..

waiting

waiting....for my checkup de result to come out..n tell me i have to stop balling from now on..

today stuffs

hmm..OMG..i am super hyper now n haven turn in yet..lolx..so here i am..blogging.. =.= alright..went to meet jeff n shawn today..just went to singapore post to meet them for a short chat n drink at the coffee bean..n after that they leaving for training..leaving me at sing post wif nth to do..dun feel like going home yet so slack at the usual place where me n liting will sit..n smoke like dunno how many sticks..reading old msgs n feel more depressed? lolx..then..while emoing..suddenly saw a girl walking past me..then saw her taking a TOPMAN plastic bag..n my mind was thinking..sing post got TOPMAN mehx??? if got then i dun need take bus for shopping so ma fan liao..lolx..then suddenly she call my name n i was totally shock!! then she say she is hui (something) de dunno wad..cuz i was having one ear plug in my ear at that time..so i was like..huh??? then took off my ear plug..she ask i am pengrui rite..i was like ya..n i dun recall knowing this girl..lolx..then she told me she is hui lynn(my second gf) de sis..(pls dun blame me, be it wif just both ear plugs in my ear or just one,i am just deaf) i seriously think her sis is damn super duper pro!! guess wad..hui lynn was my gf when we are in pri6..n her sis is in pri5 at that time bah..pri6=12 years old..n now i am 18..yet she can recognise me..think hui lynn talk to her about me after me n her chat few months ago..that time took bus to pp wif wy..board the bus the time..a girl turn back n called jie when me n wy went up..i thought she was telling her jie where to alight..so nv bother so much..until feel someone was looking at me..turn and saw hui lynn..lolx..her sister is like memory super good?? lolx..anyway..was intending to send cw, jun, wj, glenn, kh about plans to celebrate ken, zy, zh n wy de birthday..cuz all falls on august! OMG..i am going to be broke AGAIN..lolx..n guess wad..i accidently send to cy instead of cw..which is..err..some of u will know is who i guess..i was damn du lan cuz cw nv reply my msg like dunno how long..until my text message memory is full while msging amelia mei..check my sent items cuz wanna delete some msgs then find out..OMG..send wrong person..so msg her n say sorry..how stupid/blur can i get?

anyway..slack at sing post until around 7.15..then the sky turn black..i still dun feel like going home..cuz..dad is out to work..mom is still working..bro is having NDP rehersal..so..i will be alone at home..but dun feel like sitting at sing post there..so..i stood up n thought of somewhere to go n slack before going home..so i walk to liting de hs..on the way there..reminded the first time she drunk..i ask her some question..to test if she will say anything wrong to her mom if her mom ask her where she go? n why go there? her reply:"paya lebar'..n after i ask go there for? she replied:'pei peng you he jiu' n i was like...HUH..cute! lolx..anyway..until walking towards the traffic light to her hs area there..reminded of her laughing at all my actions n jokes..then after traffic light..is image of her brother jogging past..then walk until the place where she force me to say why i was tearing(that time sending her home in 155 from toa payoh)..i sat there until around 8 plus then walk back home..walk to sing post..go toilet le then went home..warm my dinner half way n mom came back..hehe..just nice..can eat.. =)

stupid

Damn it!! mom force me to go for checkup for my ankle..wad the hell wif that all of a sudden..anyway..i went n the doc took x-ray for me..results will be out after one week or so..doc ask me if i did overwork my ankle anot..err..maybe yes but i dun give a damn..anyway..i told him i didn't..who the hell would be stupid enough to say yes? i seriously have no idea how my mom know my ankle doesn't seems right for the past 2 weeks..did i limp in front of her? (dun think i did) lolx..anyway..i do have a request..GOD if its possible can u just break my ankle?

i can't play bball like i did before i injured my ankle..now i seems just like a stupid guy on the court..even knowing wad should i do..i can't move my ankle like i wanted..anyway..who the heck would give a damn if my ankle really were to break? perhaps some ppl are even praying for PR to die now.. =D

results of my own actions?? maybe..

thurs n fri update

thursday..went 813 at 2? play until like 4 then whole group went to play lan..then i dun wanna go..so thought of leaving bball court le cuz someone came..then..check my phone saw ernest missed call..call back he say he at hougang..dun feel like going home yet so coming 813 look for me..stupid ernest..make me wait there like a stupid idiot for 1 n a half hour!!! damn! i think thanks to him..i dying of lung cancer earlier..lolx..he came then we play..my leg injuries act up..stupid..then i sit down like dunno how long..went to 820 at around 7..then we slack there like super long..got 4 girls sitting in front of our table..came to the coffee shop at the same time..n while me n ernest was slacking...he suddenly say..we slack damn long le..the group of girls also sit DAMN long lor..i was like..YA..then i told him..believe anot..if we leave they also go..hahas..and end up..when me n ernest stood up to leave..the girls stood up also..then me n ernest like..wow..like so zhun..lolx..(not the first time this happens so can guess)

accompany ernest to 293 bus stop..then the 4 girls going the freaking same way..i was like..PLS dun ask my no. HAHAs..anyway..they didn't..phew..(they not my type)

hmm..friday..went school for 18mins nia..WTH..waste my bus fare!!!!! anyway..went to school earlier to collect my class t-shirt..was like..wth..the printing of the no. n name quite nice..but the front..OMG..is a freaking Male symbol..a o wif a arrow that kind..dunno how to explain..went eating at short circuit..then jaffar finally msg me after trying to contact him for like dunno how long..cuz his class t-shirt wif me..lolx..finally pass him after eating..then..go 813..weizhong came n we go 820 wait for him makan finish..then went back to 813 de playground..a while later anthony say want go tp settle something.. =D slack at tp library until xiaopang n billy call weizhong..then..back to 813..nelson coaching the boys today..hahas..think they did more than 100 push up today..GOOD!! anyway..brought them to tp cuz thought of continue training as 813..full liao..but..tp courts all occupied..so i brought them to the track ask them run 2.4.. =) some of them left earlier..while me n ernest continue playing..busing home the time..got some gin nas ah beng n ah lian..super noisy through the whole journey..when i alighting..the girls behind try to pronounce my name..cuz i wearing my no. 11 Fbt shirt..lucky they pronounce correctly lor..wth!! dunno wad i will do if they pronouce wrongly.. =D

anyway..my ankle really breaking anytime..but..i dun seems to care about it anymore..if its going to break..let it be....Pain like hell now..

updates for sat, sun n today

hmm..that day not in a very good mood..cuz reminded of something..hehe..msg liting ask her out for drink..she was celebrating her friend's birthday wif huiping n xiuying..then she told huiping about going to drink..dun dare tell xiuying cuz xiuying hit harder..hahas..that time meet she just wear a pair of shorts wif a collar top..n i was wearing jeans cuz got lab..lolx..then this time..she wear a dress..when i wear until quite casual..funny lor..anyway..after learning her lessons that day..she drink a smaller can instead of the bigger can i took..hahas..but nv finish..her eyes like watery liao..so i took away her can..hmm..after that..she rest awhile on my shoulder liao..go toilet.a while later while walking..she ok liao..not like the other day..hahas..anyway..she laughing like siao when i send her home..cuz i try to imitate xiao zhu n say about jeff dunham videos..oh ya..she suddenly say i look like yuyang from campus superstar from a angle..wth!! not again..how long ago the thing liao sia..hmm no. of sticks on sat..err..think around 13 sticks bah..then sunday..i try to control whole day dun smoke..end up..DAMN IT!!!! i can control..hahas..wth rite? can control yet i bu shuang..but i smoking so much nowadays..why still can control..F***..lolx...

then monday..7th july..STUPID day..hahas..guess wad..i went to took bus 67 at around 8.30..the road all the way to tampines is damn clear lor..yet the uncle deliberately drive super slow even though not a single vehicle in front..i was like wth..then from eunos to kembangan..got one traffic light which is green..then the uncle drive super slow..until the traffic light..the light is still green..guess wad? the uncle stop the bus..then just nice the traffic light turn orange..i was like..WTF!! lolx..anyway..reach ah joe's hs that bus stop at around 8.55 le..then went to buy cigarette at 820..then walk to school blk 34..END OF ENGINEERING SCHOOL..f***ing far lor..i walk until there..9.19 on my watch..then stomachache..go toilet..hehhe...after that..i see the time..going 9.30 le..then i instead of going class..i went out of school n smoke..so end up..i skip my lesson..then..went to 899A to slack n smoke..lolx..then ernest called ask if i got go 813 later..then i ask him come now cuz my next lesson start at 2pm..then i ask wy out to pp..cuz my watch timer thingy siao le..then wy lessons end at 2pm..then..my decision is to..skip all my lessons of the day!!!(another reason of skipping my lessons today is cuz..i bu shuang..my attendance is perfect but only results not good for term test..my care person call my dad..so..attendance good also kena call parents..might as well dun go) lolx..then while waiting for ernest..suddenly got this tp girl sit in front of me..she is above average for my expectation lah..then she suddenly cried in front of me..n i notice she is msging..so i guess she tio ditch by bf..pass her a pack of tissue n ask her about wad happen..she told me her bf ditch her cuz feeling fade..i was like lolx..like that nia u cry until so jialat mehx?? not as if he two timing u..anyway..i keep my comments to myself n let her lean on my shoulder until she feels much better after hearing my relationship stuffs..lolx..then send her to school n she ask for my no. so we exchange contact no. before leaving for 813..ernest still not there yet..waited for him then we played one-on-one lah..score is i win 11-5..should have been a 11-0 one lor..shit..nvm..then play wif some tp guys..after they left..nelson came down after weizhong billy n anthony went to makan..so i accompany him go withdraw money before he go sports hall..i went back to 813 to slack while waiting for wy to call..

wy call le..n i meet him at tp main gate de bus stop..then smoke two sticks there..one is mine n another one is his (red)..his cigarette are super smooth..but i still prefer my next chill..perhaps next time then change to (red) bah..went pp to get my stupid watch fix..stupid lor..go there the journey so long..still ask wy out..end up go there..that guy less than 5 seconds settle my stupid watch liao.. -.-
went to mos burger for a drink..got alot of girls inside..but..can't be bothered..lolx..wy hp batt flat so took my phone to contact his gf..cuz he meeting her later..lolx..

after mos burger..we went toilet first then go smoke n walk to katong cuz he taking bus 14 n i thinking of walking home..lolx..then cuz he wanna go back home charge hp..so..he suggest take cab to his hs there n i take bus 2 home..err..since he is paying for cab..i anything lor..bused home..got this girl in ITE ask for my no. lolx..reach home,bathe,rest awhile..mom came back..dine at bedok 511 n home again..end of entry...

心不再痛，是因为我已成功将心封闭了？ 还是因为你不再出现，让我不让自己的脑海里，再有你的影子。

everything going as i wanted

woohoo!! looks like everything is going as i planned..everyone is hating the 'me' now.. =D continues to hate me..until the day..'u' forget about me..i am now someone i dun even recognise when standing in front of the mirror..hahas..but it seems fine to me..so long as i am pushing everyone away..



forget me n leave...

my day

yesterday..went to singapore post there to meet liting..cuz wanna drink..hahas..i reach first so waited for her outside mac..she haven reach so i smoke first..she came at such a nice timing when i still smoking..opps...hehe..anyway..she waited for me to finish that stick though dun like ppl to smoke..

after that went to fairprice..two of us work in supermarket so long liao..shouldn't be finding something for so long de lor..but...end up we like walking round the whole supermarket for 1 round then find beer.. -.- anyway..two of us like fighting to pay for 2 cans of beer..end up...OF CUZ I WON..hehe..pay le went up to..errr..somewhere at sing post there sit down n drink..then she say owe me alot of qian bian wen da ti..then return all yesterday..end up i make her laugh until stomach ache...hahas..

then i ask her about her ex lah..then she told me wad happen..then she nv finish her can..but..drunk liao..so i took her can n finish for her..hahas..she headache so lean on my shoulder..fall asleep for quite sometime..after that actually i hide tide..but since she sleeping so nv wake her up...then..when she wake up ask me need go toilet anot..i was like...PHEW!! hahas..on the way to toilet..i super scared she will walk until fall lor..after that..let her rest a while more then walk her home..on the way..her brother was running then saw us..hahas..after that..while i was walking out..think saw her bro again..but this time..i was smoking..hahas..walk all the way home..was super fast lor..journey back home is less than 15 mins i think..

reach home..mom smell smoke then ask how come got smoke smell..err..just say my friend smoke in front of me..hehe..bathe le eat a bit then go to bed..nv go for my lab at 9 n skip all my lectures today..went school from 2 to 6..2pm lesson..teacher late..come in at 2.15..he talk talk awhile then i went to eat wif edward until..so basically..is skipping that lesson cuz go back the time..teacher write formula liao ask us to go le..went to staircase wif edward..smoke le go for next lesson..then after school go meet zh ask him teach me maths in school..after that walk to safra took 21..alight wif zh then saw jialin n tiff..then walk home from there..

no. of sticks today..err..i think is around 10 sticks.. =)

bye PR

我选择相信真爱的存在，
却一次又一次，被爱的人伤害
我的心，又再一次
渐渐冷却冰封。
我决定，
用尽一切手段
推开所有爱我的人
因为不想再有任何人
为我付出。
因为我对爱情不再有信心。
不要为了我，
放弃你们的幸福。
我不值得。。
你们所认识的鹏锐，
将彻底改变。
变成一个连自己也不认识的我，

再见了，鹏锐