to 4 Princess

heys..i am kinda shocked to hear from xiuting this few years u all didn't get into any relationships..n it was because u all still likes me n stuffs..well..i am kinda surprise u girls are so 'devoted' anyway..i really hope u girls will move on bah..it not that u girls are not good..in fact i really think u girls are too good for me..lolx..i am not going to say stuffs like i dun deserve u all or whatsoever..cuz i know its not going to help at all..just that..i am really sorry that..i concentrate alot on basketball after hui lynn that relationship..i admit..i avoid relationship at that moment when u girls tell me ur feelings..basically cuz i really can't forget her..its been 6 years already..i am really grateful that when u all know i changed..all of u still believe that i am still the pengrui u all know 6 years ago..it really mean alot to me..

cheryl, valerie, jing xuan, lin en..thanks for all the support u have been giving for the team..i appreciate lots..

soul..read this entry

SOUL captain(mervin ong)..not sure if u will come n read my blog..anyway..不用在意我的脚，反正早就习惯了。不要去在意，把篮球打好就行了。当然不能荒废学业。我虽然不说。但你们那天输球，我却以你们为荣。受伤了我还是会继续走下去。因为这是我对自己的承诺，也是对你们的承诺。我说过，能接受失败，却不能接受放弃。所以我不会放弃你们，你们，也不要放弃自己。因为你们是最棒的! 加油！ 下一场比赛，我们报一箭之仇。ok? 我要看到的，是1X5不等于5的球队。你们一定做得到！你们是因为喜欢篮球才会聚在一起。所以对篮球的热情和热忱，不要消失。

猪头，出门前和你聊天，从你的语气里听得出你去赴他的约，有点像应酬。所以你到11点多还没到家。我还真是担心死了。对不起喔，好像在烦你。

stupid ankle

went to my godma place for dinner just now then after dinner..i was watching tv with my dad while other family member was talking at the dining table..my dad suddenly hit me on the ankle when wanting to tell me something..n..the next moment..i was lying on the ground, holding my ankle n crying at the same time..lolx..now my mom wants me to go see doc again! wth!!!! n this time she ask dad to go along wif me..jialat liao! lets hope my mom will forget about it..lolx..now i have to take out my ankle guard again..haix..

你们，一定要比我幸福！ =)

知道你现在过得很开心，对我而言就够了。虽然，会感慨让你快乐的人不是我，但我开始一直在告诉自己，爱一个人，不一定要拥有，而是应该祝福她，希望她会比自己幸福！！

对于慧玲，我愧欠太多，你说的很对，现在的我，是个很好的朋友，可是，你和我在一起时，我却不是一个好的男朋友。虽然说是不够成熟，但却不是借口。我会一直这样在你需要一个人聆听你心事时，在你身边静静聆听。希望你和他，真的可以长久！和你的过去，我无法弥补。因为我和你的缘分早已结束。对你的歉意，不是对不起这三个字可以表达的。如今，我也只能用一个朋友的角度，去关心你，聆听你，守护你，不让你再受伤。这是我，唯一能弥补的方法！只求你，会比从前快乐。如果你恨我，我会更欣慰，心里会更好受。你的原谅，对我而言，才是一种残酷的惩罚。对不起，也谢谢你肯再度接受，相信我这个朋友。。

其实，伤害女人的男人。我相信会有报应！

wonderful day! thanks wy, lynn, soklyn! u ppl made my day!

hmmm..a very tiring but fun fun fun day today!! met wy to study for our supp papers today..well at least..that was the original plan.. =P so we meet at pp..then went to mos burger..took out our books..then he say makan first..so eat..then chat..then went off to 'xian' "zha bo"(girls)..end up=nv study =P oh ya..he kena throat infection so didn't smoke for the past 1 week..n he seriously regretted calling me out today.. XP sorry wy!! hehe..cuz i tempt him to smoke..OPPS!!! hehe..anyway..we saw this FUCKING hot girl at starbucks while smoking..then..OMG..she SMOKES!!! so wy n me was like..wow!! if got her as gf..then dun need quit liao..hahas..anyway..i am feeling like a fucking bastard today..wy intending to try quitting smoking after the infection..hehe..but..oppppps..i am really sorry bro! oh ya..when taking bus 135 to pp..there is this 中正总校 girl took the same bus to pp..then i keep seeing her around in pp..then wy need to take bus 76 to serangoon to meet his gf..so i accompany him..then we change our 'laopo' in the bus..cuz he wanted to listen to chinese songs..(wy is a chinese CMI guy..so his mp3 is like..eng based songs) lolx..we were in the same bus with the chung cheng high(i think its spell that way) girl..

i alight two bus stop away from the usual bus stop..to accompany wy longer..n well..i alight from the bus..then the girl followed n ask my no. lolx..walk past paya lebar mrt then saw hui lynn msg asking me to call her..then i told her i at paya lebar mrt so she wanted to meet me up for a chat..went sing post chat for like..hours then send her home n out again to paya lebar mrt cuz she meeting her bf at novena..then..when she came down from her place..she pass me something..which is erm..something a girl will like..but i appreciate it though..thanks..went home n bathe..came out n wy called...so i went to meet him at pp again..to have dinner together..went to the food court but it was crowded..so..we end up going to beer gardens! hehe..my favourite place to eat now..lolx..then he only left with four bucks..so i treat the carlsberg..gosh!! cold beer with cigarrettes n a brother! wad else do i want more than this?? hahas..so..wy cannot stand the temptation of drinking without smoking..so..u know wad happen..hehe..anyway..smoke+ eat+ chat + drink until 9 plus..walk him back to pp to take bus 31..then i walk back home..chatted wif soklyn on phone on the journey back..thanks so much n sorry for bothering u while u are studying..jiayou for ur 'A's =) really enjoyed myself today!! hehe..meeting ying n jie tml for lunch..so..going to be another long day tml? hehe..thats all for today i guess? super long entry so.. SORRY!! hehe

你曾说过，担心你会再度带我回到那黑暗冰冷的世界。我现在，不曾离开过这样的世界，就算曾离开过，我还是回到原点了。或许我也不许试着离开这世界。勇于面对这事实，自己在这孤独黑暗的世界，努力做好，家人，朋友眼里的鹏锐

秀婷，谢啦！

dreamt of u again..lolx..anyway..not going to talk about it.. =)

oh ya..xiuting called just now to accompany her on the way back..junwei didn't send her back..hmm..chat about lots of stuffs then she suddenly ask me about the past relationships that i have been avoiding to say..well..sorry to shock u that i took up smoking le..lolx..anyway..now u know the whole story so keep it to urself k? =)

anyway..thanks lor xiuting..after so long..i guess u are the only one who really understands me inside out..really needed it..hahas..thanks for the "不管你变得再坏，我依然相信，你还是我所认识的鹏锐。还是那个，为了爱，可以放弃一切的傻瓜.也相信，你变得再坏，只是为了，掩盖一些不想让人知道的过去，让别人去离开你的世界。" 6 years le..yet like u said..no matter wad pengrui has become now..its just to hide something i didn't want anyone to know..regarding that..i really hope u will keep as a secret..especially junwei..i dun wanna spoil the impression of someone in his heart..its all over anyway..and junwei n i doesn't have any misunderstanding le..let it be ok? anyway..glad that i got someone i can trust to listen to this story..oh ya..forgot to ask u how is the '4 Princess'(val, jasmine, mandy n shimin) doing..long time since i saw them..hahas..ur birthday coming liao..opening chalet hor..jialat..i think if they not staying over..i will need to send all of them back first before going back for the chalet? oii...dun forget ur promise hor..when everyone go sleeps le..u must accompany chat de hor~! hahas..take care n thanks! =)


我也想有一天能揭开自己伪装的面具，做回你们眼里的我，那个最真实的我，可是，也许，不再可能了。就这样吧，让我去当一个，连我自己都陌生的鹏锐。只要他们开心，我无所谓。反正误会也产生了，再多做解释，也只会越描越黑。

jiayou!

SOUL..it has been a good performance from u guys..it is very disappointing losing by one point..but like wad the referee has said..we are capable to be first or second in this competition..so take this as a lesson learnt..可以接受失败，不能接受放弃。no matter wad..keep going n dun give up..WE ARE THE BEST!

hope the match will turn out fine

9月14日，
会是我生命里的转泪点，还是篮球梦的结束？ 灵魂，虽然对他们有信心。可是我还是很担心。因为，如果是我在场上打球的话，在变化莫测的球场上，我还能自己去解决难题。可是，要我在场边看着灵魂的每一个球员在场上面对这些突如其来的变化。我比较害怕的，不是他们会输球。而是他们输球的原因，是因为我。。。无论如何，加油灵魂！ 加油鹏锐！

err..i have no idea wads wrong today

hmm..12 september..i think i broke a record today..13 girls approach me today..Lolx..on my way to paya lebar mrt..2 ask for my contact..(one at sing post n the other in mrt station)..mrt journey is peaceful..but alight at simei..got 1 changkat changi girl ask for my no. when i came out of the station..walking towards my student place got another girl ask for my no. at the void deck..tuition end then going back..two girls came towards me at playground n say they playing true or dare..so ask if they can kiss me on the cheek.. =.= then ask for my no. after that..lolx..took mrt back home..n one girl in the train keep looking at me as though i am a weirdo.. =.= then when i going to alight..she follow me out of the train then ask for my no.

walking back from paya lebar mrt..mom called n ask me go city plaza help her collect some clothes from her ex colleague..then 3 girls ask for my no. at city plaza..(one outside city plaza..one was at level 3 n the other at level 4)..then my mom ex colleagues started talking among themselves(but i can hear).."Poh Lang de son very handsome n tall rite? wanna intro to ur daughter?" =.= lolx..n when my mom call them to thanks them..they started telling my mom..你的儿子满帅的。 walao..are they blind? gosh..

then..on the way back..the bubble tea girl ask for my no. when i walk past the stall..then i was like..i walk past this girl so many times since the bubble tea shop is open..of all days to ask my no. she chose today to help out in breaking my record..lolx! went to gym after eating my dinner..then on my way there..got this girl accidently bang into me cuz she was talking on phone n bringing her dog for a walk..lolx..ask if she is ok then she ask for my no. suddenly.. =.=

then inside gym got another girl ask for my contact no. KAO!!! i turning crazy liao..next time see girls approaching me..i better run first..13 girls in one day?!?! WTF! lolx..

ANYWAY..Huang Huiping..Happy 19th Birthday! =) err dun think she will see my blog so..Liauw liting..pls pass a msg for me..thanks! hehe..

hmm..thoughts sort out finally..

丽婷，
花了一点时间冷静的想，我想通了。如果你愿意接受我，早已接受我了。既然你选择要继续过你的单身生活。我也没有必要，去强逼你和我在一起。爱一个人，就要尊重她的决定。对不起，在我不肯放手的过程中，烦到你了吧？既然你选择自由，那就这样吧。只要你觉得快乐。就够了。记得，一定要比我幸福！我好想再紧紧拥抱你最后一次。可是，算了吧。因为，我只会更舍不得。你说的话，虽然伤人，可是，总比在一起后，才发现彼此并不是自己一直渴望的另一半，好多了。也许，不该说是你的话伤了我吧。毕竟，真的如你所说，是我想太多。误解你对这友情的期待。心里的痛，是我自己一厢情愿造成的。我们依然还是好朋友吧？加油喔！work hard for ur IP then get ur 3.0++ GPA..你行的！ =)

其实打从已开始，在章娥那件事后，我早已不再相信爱情的存在。只不过，我还是没有完全去封闭自己的内心。因为始终在内心深处，依然渴望，相信真爱还是存在的。或许是时候，开始真的封闭自己的内心世界。不再让别人，轻易走进我的世界。。。真爱或许还是存在，只是，还没出现在我的生命里，我不会再有所期待你会回心转意，也不会开始一段感情。我会慢慢放下，所以你也不用担心我。开开心心过你想过的生活。 =) 答应你会戒烟的诺言，我还是会遵守。Forever friends k? remember need a listening ear can always give me a msg or a call..promise to be by ur side when u need..need someone to accompany u when u wanna drink..can call me also..i will make sure u dun get too drunk (err..at least will reach home safely..) take good care of urself k?

梦

梦见你，告诉我，
你被我做的一切感动，
吻你，抱紧你。
我的梦，如此完美。
如此甜蜜。
却遥不可及。
我和你的距离，
其实伸手就能触碰。
可是就算紧紧抱着你
感觉，你离我，
好遥远。
我做的梦。
是我想的太多？
还是心里的渴望？
我不知道。
梦与现实，总是相反。
这场梦，是告诉我与你还隔着距离吗?
寂寞的夜，少许的星星，
陪伴着我的，
是你过去的简讯，
是我记忆里的微笑
是眼泪。。。
多希望，
能继续做梦，
就算是多一秒，
让我将你的脸，
深深牢记在心。
让我暂时，
逃避现实。。。

我的爱，是否让你，觉得很烦？

在你选择一次又一次的拒绝我，
我也习惯了，你选择伤害我的方式。
反正只要是你开心。我无所谓。
没有一双脚是永远不累的，
也没有一颗心是永远坚强的，
再坚强的人，都有脆弱的时候。
转开头，闭上眼，
也就拒绝了伤心。
不去看会让自己流泪的东西，
是唯一能不流泪的方法。
面对总比逃避好。
我一直这样告诉自己。
希望哪一天，
你会回头看看在守护着你的我。
不要在逃避，不再伤害。。。
希望你，能坦然面对自己的内心。
勇敢的去面对。
去抓紧，在你眼前的幸福。
不再只是羡慕别人的天长地久。。